The Trauma of Growing Up in Invalidating Environments
As a trauma therapist in Oakland and Berkeley, CA, the impacts of an invalidating environment often arise. Ever wonder why you have a hard time trusting yourself? Why you you have a hard time making a decision? Why you have such a harsh inner voice? Perhaps you grew up in an invalidating environment.
According to Marsha Linehan, the creator of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, "an invalidating environment is one in which communication of private experiences is met by erratic, inappropriate, and extreme responses", such as punishment or ignoring. Chronic invalidation can lead to symptoms to Complex Trauma (or C-PTSD or Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).
Growing up in an invalidating environment can lead to trauma because such environments undermine an individual's emotional experiences and self-perception. When a child’s feelings, thoughts, or behaviors are consistently dismissed, criticized, or ignored, the child may internalize the belief that their emotions are wrong or unworthy of attention. This invalidation can hinder the development of healthy self-esteem and emotional regulation, creating a sense of confusion, self-doubt, and worthlessness. Over time, the persistent lack of validation can cause chronic stress and emotional dysregulation, contributing to the development of trauma symptoms. The child may also become hyper-vigilant, anxious, or depressed as they struggle to navigate a world where their inner experiences are consistently negated. This chronic emotional distress can lead to complex trauma, affecting the individual's ability to form secure relationships and maintain a stable sense of self throughout their life.
Parts work, such as in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, can be particularly effective in addressing the trauma of growing up in an invalidating environment. In IFS, the therapist helps the individual identify and understand the various parts of their internal system, each of which holds different emotions and beliefs shaped by their experiences. For someone from an invalidating environment, parts work can uncover and give voice to the wounded and marginalized parts that were neglected or criticized during their upbringing.
Through this process, the individual can begin to build a relationship with these parts, recognizing their pain and the protective roles they adopted. The therapist guides the person in accessing their core Self, which is characterized by compassion, curiosity, and calmness. From this place of Self, the individual can offer validation and understanding to their wounded parts, something they may have never received in their external environment. This internal validation helps to heal the emotional wounds and integrate the fragmented parts, reducing the power of traumatic memories and improving emotional regulation.
As the individual learns to appreciate and harmonize their parts, they develop a more cohesive and resilient self-identity. This process not only addresses the core trauma but also equips the person with healthier ways to respond to their emotional needs and fosters a sense of internal security and self-worth that was previously undermined by their invalidating environment.
In attachment-focused EMDR, a therapist works with the individual to identify early attachment disruptions and their impact on current emotional and relational patterns. The therapy begins by establishing a secure therapeutic relationship, which provides a corrective emotional experience that helps build trust and safety. This secure base is crucial for individuals who have experienced invalidation, as it creates a supportive environment where they can explore and process painful memories.
Attachment-focused EMDR also emphasizes the development of positive self-beliefs and nurturing internal resources. The therapist helps the individual strengthen their capacity for self-compassion and self-regulation, fostering a more secure attachment style within themselves. By reprocessing the traumatic experiences and integrating positive beliefs, the individual can develop healthier emotional responses and improve their relationships.
Ultimately, attachment-focused EMDR helps individuals heal from the trauma of growing up in an invalidating environment by addressing the root causes of their attachment wounds, reducing the emotional impact of traumatic memories, and fostering a greater sense of self-worth and emotional stability.
